Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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