she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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