made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
home. puking in laundry basket.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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