it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
