Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
