If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
