It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
