if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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