Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize