dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
