I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
