Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
