Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
