You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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