She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
50% drunk capacity currently
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize