Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
