She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Porn is love you can see.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
