Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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