Well apparently he's into motor boating.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
