Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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