You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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