Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
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No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
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Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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