I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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