Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
