she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
