he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
