so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
