Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
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