shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
