the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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