So drunk its hurt
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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