If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
