You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
