Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize