New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
