I CAN MOONWALK!
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
