i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
