the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
