So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
