I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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