Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
