We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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