What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
as a side note pls kill me
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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