Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
