Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
