Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
