party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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