I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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