sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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