The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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