she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
