He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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