so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
