Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
