I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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