Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
