he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.