the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation