when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
