I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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