i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a kid would responsible me up
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize