we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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