Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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